...
&the wind
blew itself backwards
making the sun wet
dots of sand lay quietly mumbling
my pale back facing against
the image of you
watching me
the unbending in my spine cussing you out
because im trying
to toss the existence of us
onto the scurrying clouds above
hoping when they melt - we will too
but your cobweb waves
wrap completely around me
forcing me back into our seashell hell
making me remember
...again...
why we drowned
in eachother
...
{'TheShore' pix by flakesuse}
Wow. Brilliantly written. Vivid and striking, full of emotion. The opening stanza grabbed me immediately. The melting clouds- beautiful imagery. Harrowing ending- very beautifully done. Really enjoyed that- thank you for sharing. :)
ReplyDeletesmiles. this ends a lot happier than i saw it going...that opening line is killer...
ReplyDeleteOh this is absolutely one of my very favorites of yours~it's perfection.
ReplyDelete"the unbending in my spine cussing you out" What a great line! Opening stanza is extremely strong and the rest of the poem lives up to it.
ReplyDeletethis is one of my favorites also. geez aren't you talented! a universe of inspiration. <3
ReplyDeleteLili, a sumptouos treat and a walk into the world of lililove...you can copyright that if you want! Excellent treat :)
ReplyDeletea lot of beautiful lines in this. i loved the ending :)
ReplyDeleteI could relate to this very much.. and your going back to shell is so beautifully portrayed... I liked your line ... so vivid...
ReplyDelete"dots of sand lay quietly mumbling"
Its beautiful.
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-another-kind-of-valentines-day.html
I agree with everything said above. Absolutely love this....one of your best, definitely!
ReplyDelete